Method: Take the worst cellphone rings and jokey toy-sounding apps that you drunkenly/stupidly purchased, add them to that Play-Doh recipe you recently downloaded, boil and boil and start humming the la-la-la-la-la-la bit The Smurfs do so (excruciatingly) well. Now, take the rolling pin and bash yourself in the face. Again. And again – for good measure.
Result: Something better than #Willpower by Will.I.Am.