Led Zeppelin

Celebration Day

Warners

Hi, I’m wondering if you can help me?

Sure, what are you after?

Well, I quite like Led Zeppelin, you know…

Sure, who doesn’t, right?

I know, but I was hoping to hear a selection of their songs without any of the vitality; I’d hoped, also, strange though this may be, for Jimmy Page to sound nervous, to take at least three songs before he knew where he was and what he was doing…

I think I have just the thing for you!

Really?

Yep. A brand new release has come to mind instantly…everyone will be after it tomorrow.

Brand new!?

Well, it was recorded a few years ago but they sat on it for a while, let the bootleggers and YouTube have their way with it and I think now they might be keen to cash-in on some coin before Christmas.

Well, that sounds like just the thing for me. But, tell me, what I’d really like is something that replaces the amazing, always unpredictable drum fills and spontaneous compositional approach of Bonham Senior with Junior’s best efforts; maybe a little double-kick in a sadly just-missing-the-mark/but-really-good-try kinda way?

Oh we definitely have that!

We are on the same page then?

Well, he’s hardly “the same Page” – hasn’t been for years. But he tries really hard. So hard that fans will think of this second coming as a whale-gush instead of a pigeon-trickle.

Ideally, it would be a double-CD so that I can pay just slightly more than I should for the privilege of hearing songs I’ll only – really – want to hear once. And then I’ll return to The Song Remains The Same; the original benchmark when it comes to not-needed Zep live performances rendered redundant when committed to CD.

It is a double! I can charge you a little bit more if you’d like? More, even, than what the wholesaler is suggesting?

Yes please!

You Led Zep fans are just great!

I know, right?

Today really is a Celebration Day. Enjoy

You know I probably won’t – but I’ll never ever admit it ever!

We love exclamation marks!

Same!